I'm G, dig around and you'll find my real name somewhere in the depths of the archives. I started this blog when I was 17 years old and about to be a senior in high school. I thought I had my whole life planned out, from my ideal college to my nursing career. Three years later, I'm at a different school and studying Creative Writing. Go figure! I'm learning that I don't know it all and that I'm not in control, God is! I now strive to do my best in all I do and trust that God's plan for me will unfold in time.
My Journey (so far)
From the time I was 7 years old I struggled with issues such as fear and trust. I had an awesome childhood, my parents are loving and hard working and they gave me all that I could ever need and more. Unfortunately that isn't enough for anyone to have complete happiness and contentment. For years I was afraid of being kidnapped or left behind. I was afraid to even ride my bike down the street by myself.
Around the time I was in second grade my mom started taking my older sister and I to church. I enjoyed the crafts and snacks but I did not understand the deeper meaning of the lessons. I believed in God, I understood that He was omniscient and powerful but I did not understand what this meant for me personally and how it could impact my life. I accepted Jesus into my heart one day during Sunday School but I was still struggling with worrying and anxiety about various things.
When I was 12 I had to undergo a major surgery to correct a problem with my spine. The whole ordeal was painful and long and it left me with anger and confusion over why I had to go through something so grueling. Around this same time when I was in middle school I began to develop slight OCD tendencies. I would check my room dozens of times a night to make sure that no one was hiding in it. I would spend hours going from my closet to my bed over and over again. I was getting tired of depending on myself to make things right and safe.
Finally, before high school I realized that I needed to re-instate Jesus into my heart. At last I began to realize that I needed to "lean not on my own understanding" but on God who was always watching out for me. When I started trusting God I was able to overcome many hurdles that had previously been major fears of mine. I rode my bike around my entire neighborhood, I no longer checked my room obsessively and I felt a general sense of peace.
I'll admit that I still have my setbacks, for the past few years I have went a bit overboard about germs, I have learned that no matter how much hand sanitizer I use or how many times I wash my hands I still end up sick! I am not in control! That was something that was hard for me to learn, I needed to put my entire life in my Lord's hands. It is only then that I can experience the many gifts that I have been given.
So that is my journey so far, ups and downs, but many, many happy times that I didn't have a chance to mention. I thank God every day for the many blessings He has given to me that I don't deserve.
“The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.” Psalm 18:2