Tuesday, September 29, 2015


It's where it's at.

My mom has to get a whole new certification for her job at work. She has one year to take two giant tests and pass them both. Needless to say, she's been studying a lot. Which means she likes to hang out at the new library I hate. Today I tagged along because I had a crapton of work to do and what better place to do it than a peaceful quiet room. Turns out, my clackity typing is really loud in the quiet room so I'm perpetually worried that I'm bugging people. Oh well. I finished a paper and did some revisions on a portfolio for another class. My fingers are begging for me to stop typing.

I should probably oblige.

Hears some happy news: I'm off of work this week and on Friday is my cousins wedding! I still need to find a dress but I'm really excited. I love weddings and I really love to dance. Fun fun.


Sunday, September 27, 2015

Back in the Chair

Many years ago, when I was 15, I won musical chairs at my mom's family reunion. I knocked a cousin (who is much bigger than me) clear off of the last chair. It was pretty amazing. I love that game, and I'm quite good at it. Sadly, the last two times we've played, my mom's cheating aunt has taken the fun right out of it and I haven't won since.

Today, we accompanied my favorite aunt and uncle to their car club clam bake and after I was done eating large amounts of food and wining races across the soccer field, guess what game was played? Musical chairs. There were a few men, another cheater, my sisters and some random ladies. Guess who won???

ME. And I won a big bag of Twizzlers.

I'm back folks.


Wednesday, September 23, 2015

She Ruined My Day, But Not My Life

I had an English professor be totally mean and unprofessional to me today. I nearly cried and it was bad. Really bad. I felt stupid, belittled, humiliated and at a loss. I don't know how I'll ever please this woman, seriously, I don't know. But everyone else in the class seems to be doing alright so I feel even more stupid.

It's just hard. And it's easy to feel like everything has gone downhill and I'll end up living in a box and yada yada ya. But it will be ok, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. I'll figure it out, somehow. And I know that this isn't the end of the world even if it felt like it. I know that I'm a better writer than she was giving me credit for. I know that I belong in my major even if she made me feel otherwise.

I know, but it sure as heck still hurt. Bad.

Perspective folks, perspective. I gotta get some.

For now I can say that yes, she ruined my day. But no, she did not ruin my life.


Just kidding.


Tuesday, September 22, 2015

A Post About a Library

Today, as my dad and I parked in the lot of the town library, he instructed me to "take a deep breathe, walk around and try to find something you like about it." I tried but failed. Why, you ask, does my disdain for the library run so deep? Well, you may remember my post about the grand opening where I publicly apologized for my rude behavior in the shuttle line. Anyway...the reason I was so on edge that day was perhaps because I was so angry about the new library.

You see, the old library was situated right on the campus of my old high school. I had been going three ever since I was a little girl, it was the end destination of countless family bike trips, the place where I spent many evenings in late elementary school while my mom studied. A place where my love for reading was fed and fostered, where I would roam around the children's section, picking out Henry and Mudge and Amanda Pig books. Where I turned the tall movie rung around and around in search of just the right Mary Kate and Ashley movie. It was the place where I took my first creative writing classes, spending hours each week poised over a yellow legal pad, excited beyond reason to share my work with the class.

It was at that old library where I found my haven during those high school years. I never had to fear if my parents were late to pick me up or if I stayed after school for help. I never had to have that nagging worry that plagued me my whole life, that I would have to stand alone in front of the school and fret about kidnappers. I always had the safety of that library, right next door. And every single day I would get picked up there. Certain days, right at three o'clock or just shortly after, it was then that I would wait in the little antechamber that the librarians were always telling kids to keep it down in. Other times, I'd stay there until four or five if I had to wait for my mom to get off work. I would get science tutoring or peruse the fiction section, sitting in the incredibly comfortable yellow chairs. I always felt safe there, surrounded by books and the same librarians I'd known since I was a little girl, asking if they had a certain Bernstein Bear book.

I loved that library.

When they announced that they were planning on building a whole new building, in a whole new spot, I was a Senior. At first I panicked, how in the world could I handle not having my library there for me? I rushed inside it that day and asked a librarian of the timeline for the move and she assured me that it would be well into 2013. I was immensity but still distraught that the library was moving.

Then the day came when it finally happened and I was dismayed to see the end result. One large open space, glass rooms and giant windows. Exposed shelves of books, a cafe with just vending machines. Gone were the cozy nooks and crannies, gone were the hidden magazine shelves that I used to love to go on archaeological digs through. Gone were the cubicles I had once studied for exams in, gone were the gall bookshelves I'd had to use a stool to reach. I was left with a big open expanse of space where the main focus appeared to be nature (the theme) instead of reading. I was dismayed and I still am.

I miss my old library.
And I'll  never like this new one.


Sunday, September 20, 2015

The Great Bridal Shower of 2015

Sadly it was not for me...but it was for my cousin who has been waited so long to find the right guy so yay for her!!! Really, I'm not being sarcastic, I am super happy for her. And as God would have it, her husband to be lives in England so she will soon too.

My mom sort of nominated herself to throw the bridal shower and we had a mere two and a half weeks to get it together. All things considered, it went great.

There was a lot of work to be done in a short amount of time. M did most of the decorations and the favors, I was in charge of the cake sand desert (I took that job VERY seriously), E pitched in wherever it was needed and my dad's duty was to get Ruby out of the house for the evening. And my mom did all the food and cleaning. It was a lot but we banded together and threw a great party.

Oh, there were hiccups, like M getting a raging migraine on the day of the shower and several people being unable to attend last minute but through it all, we stayed calm. I even managed to basically create my own recipe for some pretty delicious raspberry tarts. I thinks I'll post the recipe sometimes this week.

Once all the guests came, we ate and chatted and Ruby wasn't around to jump on everyone and lick them to death, it was peacefully chaotic. We did a little Q&A with my cousin and then we cut the cake. I was a bit disappointed with the taste...but the decorations came out perfect.

I can't wait for the wedding in a few weeks!!

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Trudging Through

Guess what? I've come down with influenza. Early in the season, yay me!

It started Saturday evening before movie night. My throat felt sort of off and I feared a cold was coming. The next morning I woke up just feeling plain bad so I stayed home from church. I came upstairs, tried to eat breakfast but found no appetite and started to get the chills. I was also congested only on the left side of my face and I had a nasty pain in my left uppper quadrent when I inhaled. It was not fun.

By the time my family returned, I was huddled up on the couch in a blanket, still very cold despite the fact that it wasn't actually cold in the house. My mom confirmed a fever and I spent the day watching House (I'm nearly done with the show now, hooray for binge watching during illness!) and E True Hollywood stories. It would have been nice if I didn't feel so poor.

The next morning I decided I'd better just go to school. I didn't want to miss class and I felt somewhat ok so I forged ahead. The day was alright, though I still felt bad but I managed. It was only later that night, during the premiere of DWTS that I felt feverish again and the thermometer confirmed that my body was right. Boo!

The next day I had to call of work because, hello, I work around babies and new moms and who wants a sick person taking care of them?? I still had to go to ta surgery follow up appointment at the eye doctor though which was NOT fun. I checked out great but I felt awful the whole time. Sadly, at this point, on top of the fever and overall sick feeling, I also had all of the lovely cold symptoms. The worst.

The rest of the day was spent watching more House but this time on TV because a miracle happened and USA network was running a marathon of the exact episodes I was on on Netflix, it was perfect! And I got to watch in my comfy bed instead of the coach, I felt slightly better later that day and did some schoolwork.

I went to school today, felt awful for the first half but then perked up a bit. Upon arriving home I felt a lot better, cleaned the kitchen and now have to take care of E who is in the beginning stages of getting sick herself. The cycle continues.


Friday, September 11, 2015

14 Years Ago

Here's a repost of what I wrote 4 years ago, let's never forget: 

I was 7 years old. Sitting innocently in my 2nd grade classroom when the first tower was hit. The teachers did not want to scare us so they didn't tell us what was going on. Strange things happened that day though and it's amazing what a kid can pick up on. A lot of my classmates were getting taken out of school, one was pulled right from our line on our way to music class. The teachers held hushed conversations. I knew something was going on.

I just didn't know what.

When my sister and I got home my mom met us at the front door and we sat outside on the front steps. She told us a simplified version of what had happened that day. I did not understand, I don't even think I cared. It was like hearing about a story or movie where a bunch of people I didn't know died. I didn't get the magnitude of it, not for years did it hit me emotionally.

September 11th 2001 was the first major historical event that I lived through. It will be a memory that I will never forget. It's weird to think that the kids that weren't born or were babies at the time (like my little sister) never knew a world without the fear of terrorists or the war. I'm thankful that our country was somewhat peaceful for the first 7 years of my life.

For the past 5 school years in my history classes when the anniversary of the attacks comes around we watch a documentary or a TV special on the subject. When I watch these people talking about their loved ones that died or when I hear these phone conversations, actually recordings of people saying goodbye, it just gets to me. I can't imagine what was going through their minds when the realized that they had no chance, that they were going to die. The fear, the terror, the panic. I'm not brave or strong enough to even think about how I would handle that. I know that I would be praying madly and I know that the fact that I have God watching over me would help but I don't know...it's just so unimaginable.

When I think about those brave passengers that overpowered the terrorists, I'm overcome with pride for the citizens of our country. That we have people that are so willing to sacrifice themselves to save more lives. Their bravery will never be forgotten.

Lets remember, today and always. September 11th 2001.

Blog Roots

I recently went back and reread my entire blog up until this point. I cringed at some points but for the most part, it was really fun! I think I need to go back to my roots a little bit and just write about life...not always day to day events but what I'm feeling, what I'm up to at that moment.

It was so much easier to blog when I was living in a dorm alone! It was quiet and peaceful and no one interrupted to ask, "Whatcha typing?" (which gets so very annoying). I was less distracted and more focused on writing and self discovery. I guess I've discovered a lot of myself for the time being but some self examination would be nice.

You know what's funny? I can't remember the last time I cried. I mean, that's not entirely true, I cry during movies and TV and books often enough but I haven't cried for myself in forever. I guess that's ok, since I've had nothing major to be upset about but sometimes it just feels good to let it all out. Back in June I slammed my fingers in my bedroom door and was totally about to lose it but then M called me for something so I stifled it and went on my way. But for those few seconds where I really did cry a little, it felt so good.

Anyway, I don't think this post has a specific purpose, just a musing like the old days :). I'm very excited about the weekend despite the fact that I have a lot of work to do. But movie night is tomorrow which should be a lot of fun!


Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Labor Day Weekend

The weather was so nice this past weekend! HOT, but very nice. I got to spend the three days outstide in the water and sun, the way I like it!

On Saturday, I pretty much spent the whole day in the pool. I finished another book and then my family and I went out to dinner. Our old faithful favorite Italian restaurant was closed for a late summer break so we went to a different one closer to home. Everyone had a good meal except for my dad who had a very bad experience with a fish sandwich (gross). We came home and watched a movie.

On Sunday, we went to church and then I came home and spent more time in the pool. We had burgers for lunch and later on, E and I broke out the old Mario Party on gamecube and I won!

For Labor Day, I spent the morning in the pool again and then we went to the beach. The water was so nice and it was way too hot to stay out of it for long! We looked for rocks and beach glass and ate and had a nice time. We got ice cream on the way home to cap off the day!

All in all, it was a fabulous long weekend full of end of summer fun.