Monday, March 30, 2015

The Way it Is

Wow wow, I've been the worst blogger ever this month! I'll say that surgery and a heavy school workload has been a big part in that but also lack of motivation to write more than I have to for school. As it is right now, I'm constantly having to write critique letters among other things and blogging is the last thing I want to do after all that. However, I absolutely do have a lot to say and I love having this blog so I am determined to make to work.

Life right now...well I'm gearing up for a couple days of school and work and then I'll have a weekend of working on my second workshop piece for my fiction class. And sadly, my 13 month run of not getting sick has ended. A cold has spread around our household and I was unable to avoid htis one. It hasn't been bad so far and I'm really praying it doesn't get to be.

E's birthday was yesterday and I failed to write a post. I'm going to get one up ASAP. After not watching last season, E and I are back to watching DWTS again. It's hard to top Meryl and Maks but we have some favorites so far (Robert and Kym, Rumer and Val). And some unfavorite's (looking at you Derek and Nastia!).

I also added some books to my page, check it out!
Back soon!

Friday, March 20, 2015

Surgery Part Two: The Day

I was really nervous the day before surgery, like I was close to flaking out. I'm not a huge fan of my surgeon but I've known him since I was 2 and I do trust that he knew what he was doing. After a pretty restless night, I prayed and prayed and woke up feeling alright to go ahead with it.

My mom and I drove downtown and checked in. I thought I'd have to wait a long time before before begin called back but someone had allegedly cancelled so I got in early. I was accidentally scheduled on a pediatric day which I ended up being really thankful for. The nurses are a lot nicer and more attentive to "kids". I had to put on a gown (kids size but still big..story of my life!) and wait for the process to get going. I had just taken out my contacts when a nurse came in and said that the patient who'd cancelled surgery had decided to uncancel so I'd have to wait about an hour to an hour and a half.

I was a little annoyed because I sort of just wanted to get it done with but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. While my mom and I were waiting, a Child Life Specialist came in and talked with us for a long time. Not so much preparing me for surgery or anything but telling us abou ther job and college experience etc. I was interested because (if you can keep track) one of my majors was Child Life. She was so nice that I sort of wanted to cry, this happens to me when I'm nervous and someone is really kind to me. It's sort of weird!

I didn't cry though but I thanked her for talking with us and giving me a green smiley face stress ball! Not long after she left the anesthesia team came in and said they were going to get an IV started. I hadn't eaten anything for about 18 hours so I was dehydrated and they had a hard time finding a vein. Once they did, it only took one try. They put it in while the surgeon was talking to me so I was quite distracted. Things moved really quickly after that and I decided to have my mom come back to the OR with me until I was put under. I thought I wouldn't need her there but hey, who doesn't want their mom when they're a little scared :).

I was really happy that I was able to tell the anesthesiologist not to give me any of that "calming medicine) in the IV before being wheeled back. I had an awful experience with it when I had back surgery so I strongly prefer to be awake and alert until it's time for surgery. They wheeled me back to the OR, got me on the table and said they were about to administer the anesthesia. I held my moms hand and prayed and fell asleep. I didn't dream anything, just had a blank sort of rest and then I woke up in recovery. I felt really weird and tingly all over for a while. When my mind cleared and I could sort of talk coherently, I remember trying to tell the nurse that I felt tingly and babbling on about the IV's we use at work when she took mine out.

I ate some crackers and ice chips and then was allowed to leave. I got dressed and a kind man wheeled me out and waited with me while my mom drove the car around. He told me about his 12 grandkids and then said to mom that I was a really sweet and pleasant young lady. I felt really groggy but I guess I can be charming under any circumstances :).

The drive home was long due to traffic and I felt a bit carsick but other than that, I didn't get nauseated at all from the meds, such a blessing! I waited in the car while my mom ran into a grocerty store to get me some soup and then we finally got home. I laid on the couch and ate soup and popsicles. E was next to me with a stomachache (she swallowed too much water at her synchronized swimming practice). I still had a patch over one eye to keep me from getting disoriented from the double vision. I took it off before bed and was happy to find that the double vision was really mild and not something that seemed like it would be hard to adjust to.

I went to bed early and had a nice sound sleep...
To be continued!

Friday, March 13, 2015

Surgery Part One: Hypocrite

March 3rd 2015

Tomorrow I am having eye surgery. I've known about it for awhile and I've wanted to write about it for awhile but it's been really difficult for me to do.

I feel like a hypocrite. You see, I've said my whole life that I don't have a desire to have my wandering eyes fixed. For whatever reason, I've gotten really self conscious about them in the las couple years. I've been worried that people only focus on them or think I'm looking at them when I'm not. So I decided to do something about it. It's not going to be fun, it will take some time to adjust and my eyes will look really gross for a week or so.

I'm a little nervous but trusting in God that everything will go alright. Pray for me if you can! I really appreciate it.

Monday, March 2, 2015

Warmer Days to Come

Winter has been harsh this year. Bitter cold, excessive snow, the works. I haven't seen grass in two months.

Last week I had a lot of school work to do so I opted out of going boxing and instead brought my laptop to a coffee shop next door. This was something I did at least twice a week last summer (before I started working out). As I walked the familiar sidewalk, littered with slush and salt, I remembered those hot July days where the coffee shop was  cool reprieve instead of a warm one. I thought of those calm hours I spent writing my books, music in my ears, as the world moved around me. I took a seat at my favorite table and ordered my usual mango smoothie.

I so very badly want warm weather again! I know I'm complaining a lot but it's no fun to endure this weather for so long. I want to swim and ride my bike and walk my dog and just bask in the sun! One thing I know I will appreciate the season even more after coming out of such a harsh winter.

I did get through February without any disasters! Yay! March brings the promise of spring and with that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Winter no longer seems never ending and I am so happy for that!