Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Life is Good!

I've really been feeling content lately and loving this season of life that I am in. It took a little bit to adjust to going to school at home again and to the new campus but now I'm realizing that I like this setup for the time being. I enjoy my classes and I like this new school. For the first time in quite awhile, I don't have a dark cloud of some impeding unpleasantness hanging over my head.

Working has been good, I don't love evening shift but it's important that I save money so I'm officially on a spending freeze-yay! Ha, I did have to buy a new jacket out of necessity though.

I've also started working out and eating healthier. My family is very health conscious but there is usually some sort of sweet that I eat too much of in the house. I'm really excited to get in better shape though and to start feeling better on the whole.

This weekend should be a good one, M and I are going to do something fun with El on Saturday and then we have a family gathering that night. Sunday we have Church and then I'll be babysitting my favorite family :).

Anyway, I just wanted to document the fact that everything is going so well and how thankful I am. Happy Autumn to all!

Saturday, September 20, 2014


  • This week didn't seem too long but it was draining. I was very happy to see Friday yesterday!
  • I've decided to begin working out. Today was the first morning and after I worked through the nausea and headache, I felt really good. 
  • I did some deep fall cleaning in my room, vacuuming and organizing. Nothing I love more than a good decluttered space. 
  • I've got my fingers crossed that we'll go out to dinner tonight, we have this family Italian place that we've been going to since I was born. M and I calculated that we haven't been there in 7 months so it's time!!
  • Last night I went to the mall and got a new pair of black leggings and a nice black sweater. Both will serve me well this winter. 
  • Today the weather is like summer again, for what I'm thinking will be the last time. I just got back in from cloud watching and soaking it up. 
  • I love my creative writing class and all of the great feedback the professor has been giving me!!
Happy Saturday!!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Blessings Unnoticed, Blessings Unappreciated

I can still remember the headache that started it off. I was in seventh grade and just got home from figure skating. My head had been hurting pretty much all day but it began to intensify. We were out of liquid Motrin and I could not swallow pills so I had to wait for my mom to get home from work with a new bottled. It was agony, I have never been in that much pain before or since and this is coming from someone who had 13 hour back surgery.

What followed this day in 2006 was close to five years of daily/semi daily, headaches, worrying about headaches. I had to start carrying purses so that I would always have liquid Motrin on hand or chewables. When I learned to swallow pills, I made sure to bring a water bottle too in order to swallow. Between having OCD, being in pain and being worried about being in pain, I became extremely obsessive. I compared every headache to that one I had that first day. I thought that if i didn't have a headache by 3 then I would be alright. I carefully calculated the time it would take for Motrin to kick in. I worried constantly and I truly believe that the anxiety gave me about half of the headaches. And because I was taking so much Ibueprofen, I was also getting "rebound headaches". Mix those with regular headaches, I was hurting a lot of the time.

When I was in ninth grade, things came to a head. I was getting sick and tired of the pain. I wrote desperate poems and begged my parents to do something. So I went to a specialist, I had an MRI. Eventually I ended up on nightly medication to try and keep the headaches away. In all honesty, I don't think it worked the vast majority of the time. Sometimes I would go on a kick of no headaches, other times I would have to take ibuprofen twice a day.

I took the medication for over a year, maybe two and decided to stop. I still got headaches on and off, though they got a lot better during Junior and Senior. Somewhere along the line, they went away. Not exactly entirely, I still get them here and there but not as severe and nowhere near as often. The constant worry and internal struggle was gone.

I didn't think that much of the headaches mellowing out, I was happy of course but sort of took it matter of factly. Recently, I started thinking about how horrible that time was and how easy it is to forget once things are better. How easy it is to think, "Hmm, that's nice." instead of "Thank you God for taking away the greatest struggle of my life so far. I do not deserve your grace and mercy but I love you so much."

Blessings unnoticed are blessings unappreciated.

God does not have to heal us, he does not to keep us from all harm. Some people will live in constant pain for the rest of their lives. I am so grateful that God not only carried me through these struggles, but took them from me.

Job 6:10 This would be my comfort; I would even exult in pain unsparing, for I have not denied the words of the Holy One.


Sunday, September 14, 2014

Sia and Exciting News!

Over the summer, I heard the song Chandelier by Sia and was completely entranced. The uniqueness of her voice coupled with the haunting beautify of the song was enough to make me want to check out her entire album. After previewing it on youtube, I bought it just before we left for our trip to Chicago. Since then, I have been listening to it nonstop. While I write, while I drive, all. the. time. Gosh, I just love her voice and her talent for song writing is off the charts. There's a reason she wrote hits for Rihanna, Beyonce, Katy Perry and Brittany Spears (to name a few). It's funny to me that she spent so many years behind the scenes but (in my opinion) she blows all of those other artists out of the water.

My personal favorite song from her album, 1000 Forms of Fear, is Fire Meet Gasoline. Look it up, it is AMAZING. I also love Burn the Pages and of course, Chandelier. They're all great songs, really.

Sia has said she will not tour which makes me very sad but I respect her wishes. I'll just be listening to her album until she releases another one!

In other, totally unrelated news, I have started a second blog!! It's a gymnastics blog so this one can go back to be entirely about my life. The link is also in my profile but check it out!


Wednesday, September 10, 2014

My 2014 Wolds Team Predictions

Today at school I was so very bored and so I came up with my predictions for the US Team.
Here was my original list:

Simone Biles (duh)
Kyla Ross (duh)
Mykayla Skinner (say it ain't so...)
Madison Kocian (because WOGA)
Alyssa Bauman (because who else is there)
Alt: Desch, Locklear 

Vault: Ross, Skinner, Biles (backup Bauman)
UB: Kocian, Bauman, Ross (backup Biles)
BB: Kocian, Ross, Bauman (backup Skinner??)
FX: Bauman, Skinner, Biles (backup Ross)

Hmm...seems alright?? Then I remembered Locklear! The girl who came from nowhere and has better form than the WOGA's. So I might just switch Bauman for Locklear. But then we run into a problem for FX and possibly beam because apparently Marta doesn't like to use her there. So here is a revised list with Locklear:

Simone Biles (duh)
Kyla Ross (duh)
Mykayla Skinner (say it ain't so...)
Madison Kocian (because WOGA)
Ashton Locklear
Alt: Desch, Bauman

Vault: Ross, Skinner, Biles (backup Kocian?)
UB: Kocian, Ross, Locklear (backup Biles)
BB: Kocian, Ross, Locklear (backup Skinner??)
FX: Ross, Skinner, Biles (backup Kocian)

I'm pretty positive it has to be one of these two teams. I have this weird soft spot for Maddie Desch because she was so promising as a Junior and can't seem to reach her potential as a Senior. If she would just tighten up those floor landings and learn to stay on the beam...
We shall know by the end of next week!

Friday, September 5, 2014

Life Right Now

I've clearly been a terrible blogger lately, which I apologize for. It always takes me a little bit to get back into the school routine. I've also been writing a lot for my classes and my book so I usually don't feel like writing anymore than I already have! But, I love having this blog so I will prevail.

School is good! I like my classes with the exception of Intro to Poetry. I am not a poetry girl, I don't mind reading it now and again but I HATE dissecting it. And my teacher is just a tad bit overenthusiastic, makes me slightly uneasy. For my creative writing class I have to write a short story this weekend and it will be the first one that gets "workshopped", I'm a little nervous but I have a pretty good idea of what I'm going to write about.

In other news...I am now working every Thursday from 3-11 pm. I started yesterday, I haven't worked an evening shift in about 18 months as I usually work days. Let me tell you, after going to school and going on a long walk with my dog, I was already tired when I got there. And it was BUSY...felt like the night would never end. I'll get used to it though and as much as it might stink sometimes, I need to save money.

Claire's birthday is coming up and her mom is going to Chicago for the weekend after, I can't miss school so I'm sending my present with her. I don't know what to buy her yet (don't want to spend too much dinero, like I said, I'm saving money) but I want it to be meaningful. I really miss that girl!

And finally, I've been watching the TV show Finding Carter this summer. It's an MTV series so I wasn't expecting too much but I'm really into it now and the acting is pretty good. This last episode they had the best character get shot and now we don't know if he'll live. WHAT??? He better pull through, that's all I have to say.

I'm going to be doing some gymnastics posts this weekend I think, so stay tuned!