Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Release Your Inhibition

Anyone else love that song by Natasha Bedingfield?? I know I certainly rocked out to it in 7th grade...

Inhibition is defined (from google) as: a feeling that makes one self-conscious and unable to act in a relaxed and natural way.

Ohmygosh, I have so much inhibition, I can't even explain. I don't know when I got to be this way. I was not like this as a kid AT ALL, I think sometimes I had so little inhibition that I was a bit crazy sometimes. And really, I'm very uninhibited a lot of the time now, like I'll do silly things out in public with my family or close friends and what not. But the inhibition I have in school, with my peers is really quite intense. I'm constantly worried about how I'm perceived, not necessarily how I look but more how I act or come across. I never want people to think I'm weird or stupid or rude. I honestly get so nervous when I talk to my classmates or even other people my age. Put me with adults and I can charm their pants off, I have no problem talking to patients at work or the nurses but I turn red as soon as I'm called to speak in class. 

It's so strange to me that I'm like this because before college I never was. I wasn't the most outgoing person in high school but I didn't stress about about the things I do now. I wish I could just start up a conversation with someone and not feel so nervous about it. I wish I had the sort of relaxed demeanor that allowed me to have tons of friends or have boys falling at my feet (haha). All I can say is I'm going to try and work on it. After all, doesn't everyone deserve to feel the rain on their skin? 


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