Thursday, April 11, 2013

Que Sera, Sera

As long as I can remember I have looked to the future, I am definitely not a "take it one day at a time" kind of girl. It's juts not me. I could spend hours daydreaming about my life as an adult...but lately it's been a bit harder to get lost in those fantasies because I feel like I'm at the stage where I actually have to start trying to make them happen. Nothing would make me happier in this world than if God blesses me with a husband and children. I know that it's not for everyone but it's for me. I have always pictured myself as a mom, if I am nothing else, I want to be a mother. I can take or leave a career but motherhood has always been my calling.

What am I trying to say? I don't really even know, I guess I just want to start building my life. I want to find a worthy man for myself and I want it to happen in the next couple of years because, hey, I'm not getting any younger. I used to say that I wanted 4 kids by the time I'm 30...that may not happen but I also don't want to be one of those old moms. BUT, the tricky part is accepting that God has His own timing and to let Him take control.

Does this mean I'm giving up on college, you ask? No, I always planned on getting a degree in something, working before my kids come and then if money allows I want to stay home with them until they start school. I need to be really honest though, if I some how wound up married at 21 and pregnant soon after? I would quit this whole school thing and go right into being a mom. College will always be here but my (future) child's babyhood will not.

I read so many mom blogs and I yearn for the day when my job is to raise my kids. I cannot wait for it. But still, I am in a season of life here that is important and special. I can't let it pass by because I so busy looking ahead and wanting what lies in the future.

God willing, there will be plenty of time for everything.

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