Monday, April 29, 2013

Girl, That Was So Uncool

I am now 19. Now I can proceed haha.

I had a great weekend and a nice birthday with family that I loooooove. After eating cake I opened up some presents and cards. E had complained that my dad hadn't gotten her a birthday gift last month for her birthday so he went out and bought us both something earlier in the day. We were each presented with an itunes gift card and some chocolate! Today when my mom took me back to school I waited until after I studied to use my gift card that I was so excited about. I had all sorts of songs in mind that I wanted for summer. I noticed the card was strange because it didn't have the scratch off part on, the numbers were just exposed as if someone had already done it. Also, there was a space where the third to last number should be. I tried redeeming it but the number kept being invalid. I finally called my dad to see if the card was somehow different than the others I had gotten a while back. He didn't really get why it wasn't working and why it was already scratched off. Then I suggested he ask E to see if her gift card was working. And that's when the story came out.

Apparently the gift cards had a sticker over the number instead of a scratch off so when E peeled hers off a number (or letter) came off with it. Instead of just telling my dad and going up to the store to get a new one like a normal person she decided to take mine while I was unaware and enjoying my party. So she put hers back on the little paper thing they come on, made it seem as though it hadn't been touched and went along her merry way. Today while she was home from school with a "stomach ache" she used my giftcard and that was that. IAMSOMAD.

I was so looking forward to those new songs and now I have to wait until Friday to go and get my card figured out back home. It also really makes me sad that E is this way. So selfish. I know I don't really go into it too much on here but she really does need prayers. It is becoming increasingly evident that she truly only cares about making herself happy.

Ahh well, that was my Monday drama. Here's to a better week.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

The Last of 18

So I turn 19 on Sunday in case you haven't been paying attention to the birthday counter at the bottom of the page, the last year of my teens will begin and then next year I will enter into a whole new decade. I'm glad I'm not 20 yet, that just seems too old.

18 was truly a unique year for me. On one hand, it held the best times of my life. The final days of high school, senior project, prom, senior banquet, graduation and a summer full of parties. But on the other hand, it held anxiety and stress and terror over college. It held homesickness and new challenges. It held triumphs like good grades and facing fears. I will miss 18 because it represented a transition period in my life.

As time goes on I feel myself getting further and further away from high school. In a few weeks it will have been a whole year since I last attended classes there. This makes me sad because those truly were magical times. I had a great group of friends, I loved my teachers and I loved the familiar feeling of the building. I don't want there to be a whole year of distance between then and now. It almost doesn't seem possible, could it really have been a whole year since me and L (Lilly) and I pranced around the building taking pictures with everyone? A year since we wore our senior shirts and black leggings so that we matched? A year since I sat in English, my favorite class with my favorite teacher of all time? It just can't be...but yet it is.

I told my mom the other day that I feel like my best days are behind me. I know this is an incredibly sad and ridiculous thing to hear from the mouth of an 18 year old but sometimes I'm scared it's true. I'm worried that I will never have as great a time that I did when I was in high school and before. I know that God has things planned for me and that there is so much more of my life to live. Assuming I (prayerfully) live to be 100, I am not even 1/5 of the way through my time on this earth. Surely the next 80 years will be filled with great things if I allow them to be. Last year I read a book by John Ramsey called, "The Other Side of Suffering" it was a really great read and one thing that he wrote that really stuck out to me was that you have to live your life as if your best days are still to come. That is a truly profound statement to me because I know that if I have this negative view about the future I am cheating myself out of happiness.

What do I wish for in my 19th year? I wish for a continued strengthening of my relationship with God, I wish for more friends and I have recently started to ask God to put a man in my life. That looks really cliche typed out but it's true, I'm ready for a relationship and that is that. Anyway, I'm hoping 19 is a great 365 days. It will go by quickly as time always does but I will make the most of it.


Monday, April 22, 2013

To the People Waiting in the Shuttle Line at the Grand Opening of the Library: I'm Sorry

On Saturday our community library had it's grand opening in it's new building. My sisters and I picked up my favorite grandma and we headed off. What I thought would be a small event with maybe a few dozen patrons was SO MUCH MORE. Oh crowded. The big new parking lot was already filled we we were directed to park in a lot down the road. It was much to far away to walk (with our grandma) but no worries because they had a shuttle coming to get people. We were transported to the library for the ribbon cutting (that I could not see over the enormous glob of people). Afterward we roamed around and picked out some movies and books. The new DVD/Blu Ray section was awesome. I found two of my favorite Lifetime movies (SCORE). When we were done we headed outside for some free ice cream and to catch the shuttle. We waited...and waited by the "Shuttle Pick Up Line" sign. I even asked a policeman when it was coming and he said "Hopefully it will be back" Nice.

Now, it was very cold outside and my grandma is nearly 87 years old and we had been waiting for a good 20 minutes. When at last we saw the shuttle coming we went to meet it by the front of the library. But it pulled around the bend and went to the side of the library instead. In literally a matter of a minute a giant line had formed by the pick up sign and we weren't in it. The bus driver opened his doors and we started to get on but the people in line started yelling at us. Saying we weren't in line and blah blah blah. We said "But we've been waiting out here for a very long time and moved just to catch the shuttle" and then a nameless lady shouted "But not in line!" and so I lost my temper just a bit and shouted "Oh, cry me a river! We've been waiting out here forever!" then the bus driver let us get on because he may have understood, or because he was afraid of me.

We found our seats and then the line people got on and some had to stand and I felt TERRIBLE. It was true that we weren't necessarily in the wrong but I could see how we looked from the people in line. I should have held my tongue and I didn't. So, I'm sorry.

Ahhh, a weight off my chest.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

200th Blog Post!

Is it really possible? It seems that I was just celebrating my 100th blog post back in the fall.

To commemorate this momentous occasion I will present you with 20 (not 200) random facts about myself!

  1. If it's cold enough to wear socks, I always wear two pairs. 
  2. Green has been my favorite color for the majority of my life. 
  3. I have an extra bone in my abdomen that used to stick out a lot, now it sticks out just a little. 
  4. My favorite TV show is Party of Five
  5. My favorite reality TV show is Kid Nation, only one season but I love it so! I'll bet your shocked it's not Dance Moms, I'm full of surprises. 
  6. I crack my knuckles, a lot. 
  7. I have no fear of storms, natural disasters or fire but I have a lifelong terror of being kidnapped. 
  8. I used to bite my nails but now I grow them as long as I can. C thinks they're gross but I think they look nice. 
  9. I name all of my bedspreads, it's bizzare. 
  10. My favorite candy bar is Twix. 
  11. I've only broken one bone, my arm, at a roller rink when I was 13. A very anticlimactic and embarrassing story for another day.
  12. I have 6 scars. 
  13. I have been told my whole life that I would have made a great gymnast and have always regretted the missed opportunity. 
  14. I have a stuffed animal guinea pig collection. 
  15. Watermelon forever. 
  16. My dad went to Alaska when I was 7 and brought my sisters and I back stuffed animal husky dogs. I named mine Watermelon to pay homage to my favorite fruit. 
  17. I had a blue tank top with a picture of watermelon on it when I was 8. My passion runs deep.
  18. L saddled me with the nickname Peaches for two years in high school because I once bough a "Fuzzy Peach" gourmet sucker. 
  19. The natural state of my hair is puffy. 
  20. As a child my favorite princess was Ariel and I sang "Part of Your World" like no other. 
Here's to 100 more!

The Good LIfe

80 degrees. 

That is the temperature right now.

The sun on my skin as I walked to classes...beautiful. 

I love the warmth, I love the flowering trees, I love the sound of morning doves and birds chirping throughout the day.

I love wearing tank tops and I love wearing shorts.

Pure delight. 


Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Peace, School, Summer and Time

Hello there. I feel as if I haven't been keeping up that well and it annoys me.

Once again I have been shocked at the evil that this country has seen. It makes me so sad that things that were once so safe are no longer. I pray and pray that God would bring peace and that 2013 would be a year without violence. Unfortunately this has not been the case so far.

School is beginning to wind down here, yes I have some final exams but I'm not extremely worried about them. The thing that had previously been stressing me out are now seeming less daunting. My final English paper is really coming together and I got a 97% on my nutrition exam! I'm probably going to be looking at all A's and B's withe the exception of Anatomy. You win some and you lose some.

I have both a birthday countdown and a "Days until I'm done with school" countdown here in my room. I am equally excited for both. I cannot believe that my 18th year is coming to a close. I will definitely be doing a reflection post within the next 12 days. April is over half way through, this is crazy to me! Didn't months used to seem long?? Now they go by like nothing. Nice weather is finally starting to appear and I couldn't be happier. My spring and summer clothes have emerged and I'm really enjoying using my jean jackets instead of that blasted winter coat.

I am also currently surfing the web for the perfect bathing suit. I usually rock a bandeau but this year I was thinking of going for something a bit more modest for two reasons. One being that I'll be bearing my body for all to see at the beach house and two being that I may feel a bit insecure because I feel bigger this year. That may or may not be true but we'll see. Either way I have my eye on a specific print, I just have to decide if I want the tankini or the bandeau. Decisions, decisions.


Monday, April 15, 2013


Today is my dog Ruby's 5th birthday. I had wanted a dog my whole life but my parents were sorely against it. They thought that it would be too much work and they would be left with the brunt of it. Finally when I was in 6th grade my parents deemed it the right time. We got our first dog Lanie on Easter in 2006. Lanie was tall and lean and so cute, very sadly she got hit by a car and killed in 2008. At first I didn't want another dog because I was so upset but we hated being "dogless" so we started looking for ads in the paper. The day after my last day of 8th grade we drove an hour away to a breeder to look at her puppies. At first we had a different dog reserved but then we weren't sure if we would even be going to this particular breeder so we unreserved her. When we got there they had 4 puppies left, two girls and two boys. We knew we wanted a girl so we had to choose which one. My dad picked the bigger one and it was settled. Before we left I made sure to ask what day the litter had been born on, because I'm sentimental like that :). It was important that I knew the actual birthday. Naming Lanie took FOREVER because no one could agree but with Ruby we threw the name out there on the drive home and immediately it fit. Ruby was Ruby right from the start.

Ruby is feisty but never mean, she is so sweet and so soft. I love her to pieces and she has brought so much joy to all of our lives.

I love you Ruby!!!

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Que Sera, Sera

As long as I can remember I have looked to the future, I am definitely not a "take it one day at a time" kind of girl. It's juts not me. I could spend hours daydreaming about my life as an adult...but lately it's been a bit harder to get lost in those fantasies because I feel like I'm at the stage where I actually have to start trying to make them happen. Nothing would make me happier in this world than if God blesses me with a husband and children. I know that it's not for everyone but it's for me. I have always pictured myself as a mom, if I am nothing else, I want to be a mother. I can take or leave a career but motherhood has always been my calling.

What am I trying to say? I don't really even know, I guess I just want to start building my life. I want to find a worthy man for myself and I want it to happen in the next couple of years because, hey, I'm not getting any younger. I used to say that I wanted 4 kids by the time I'm 30...that may not happen but I also don't want to be one of those old moms. BUT, the tricky part is accepting that God has His own timing and to let Him take control.

Does this mean I'm giving up on college, you ask? No, I always planned on getting a degree in something, working before my kids come and then if money allows I want to stay home with them until they start school. I need to be really honest though, if I some how wound up married at 21 and pregnant soon after? I would quit this whole school thing and go right into being a mom. College will always be here but my (future) child's babyhood will not.

I read so many mom blogs and I yearn for the day when my job is to raise my kids. I cannot wait for it. But still, I am in a season of life here that is important and special. I can't let it pass by because I so busy looking ahead and wanting what lies in the future.

God willing, there will be plenty of time for everything.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

It Felt LIke a Summer Night

Both last night and Monday night. Especially on Monday night. I was laying in my bed (which is lofted very high up) and the window was open. I could hear the crickets and the swoosh of the wind. It made me so happy. Before my bedroom moved I used to sleep with my window open and I would soak up the night noises. It would get so hot in the room I shared with E so the breeze was lovely. Now, I sleep in a much cooler spot and I can't open my window because my neighbor keeps her porch light on and it is intensely bright. So, I was really happy to relive those old memories.

I have always touted the fact that I love all the seasons and I do, but I feel something for summer that I don't for the other three. I have always appreciated it more than any other time of the year. Walking outside into the warmth of the sun is something that I have always cherished.

In exactly one month today I will be taking my last exam and packing up and going home. One month. I know it will go by incredibly fast. It won't be long until the real summer nights.


Monday, April 8, 2013

We've Got the Beat

Today begins my last 4 weeks of school before exams! Crazy stuff.

I had a really nice weekend, on Saturday morning I went with M and C this zumba class that they've been going to. It was actually a lot of fun, The music was super upbeat and we all looked pretty cool dancing in synch. I think my dance classes really helped. Afterward we stopped a coffee shop and had Cinnamon muffins. For the rest of the day I did a whole lot of nothing! In the evening my mom and I made dinner together and a family friend stopped over for awhile so we all got to chat. Sunday M and I taught Sunday school at church and then we visited my grandpa and walked around an outdoor shopping area. The weather is finally starting to get nice! I brought all of my t-shirts here and am taking home my long sleeved drab winter clothes. I am soooooo tried of having all those blasted layers on me and sick of wearing my puffy winter coat. I long for the day when I can step out of the house (or dorm) in shorts and flip flops and no coat! Summer, come soon!

In other news my birthday is in 20 days. I can't believe I'm going to be 19...I don't feel like I was 18 for a long time at all. Next year I'll be in a whole new decade. I have no idea how I want to celebrate my birthday, last year was so great that I don't know if it can be topped. Either way I am just thankful to have lived another year!


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Home Stretch

I can't wait to get this week done and over with. I have to go to a dance show for my Modern 1 class and it is stressing me out. I don't want to go alone and blah blah blah. The usual stuff that gets me all worked up. Prayerfully everything will work out. I'm am SO over school right now. There are only 4 more weeks until exams. This is crazy stuff. I can't even explain the happiness I will feel on the afternoon of May 10th as I am packing up my stuff with my parents to go home for the summer. Pure. Bliss. I don't like to sound whiny but I don't think I'm the only college student who is ready to be done right now.

My hopes for the next month are that I will be able to remain focused and try my very best. This is my blog so I want to be very honest, I'm not really trying in Anatomy right now. I feel almost certain that I'm going to have to take it again and although that sucks, it is just reality. My professor is impossible and I'm not alone in thinking this. I feel like spending countless hours studying is just a waste because that has proven to be ineffective. Instead I want to focus my energy on the classes that I can excel in. I feel very confident about everything else, I'm really pulling for all A's and B's. That would be a dream. This whole year has been really eye opening for me. If I try hard, I can do it!

I love you April (the month) but please don't drag on!

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Spring Break/Easter 2013

I usually don't like to dye eggs, but I had some fun with it this year.
Since I lied and actually dissipated over break I figured I'd do a post to catch up on all the fun that went down. Here are my top 5 moments:
  1. Easter! Singing in the choir with E and my favorite aunt and uncle was so much fun. It was really neat to see our congregation from a different view. I absolutely loved the songs we sang and the people I sang them with. After church we went to my grandpas house like always. There are 4 kids 2 and under so I was never bored! I got to hold my cousins newborn and play with the other babies. The food was awesome and we got to have an ice cream cake in celebration of E, my grandpas and my cousin A's birthday. All in all it was a really great day, most importantly I never lost sight of the real reason for the holiday. Jesus rose from the grave!
  2. Hanging out with my mom last Tuesday. She was off work but her friend/coworker had just had her 50th birthday so my mom and I made lasagna in the morning and brought it in during lunchtime. I got to sit in the departments meeting room and eat with my mom and her friends. Everyone there is really nice and funny. My mom said that I was "charming" :). Afterward M managed to tag along and then we went shopping. 
  3. Babysitting my favorite family with M. Enough said. 
  4. The weather was gorgeous on Saturday so my sisters and I planned on doing something outside. I pumped up some basketballs and fished out our softball mitts and we headed out to find a worthy spot. We ended up at a playground/park next to my grandmas apartment. We played basket ball and catch under the warm sun. Oh how I missed not having to wear my puffy winter coat!
  5. M and I have been wanting to watch The Sound of Music on the night before Easter for years. We had done it once before and then our VHS player got unhooked. TSOM is absolutely one of my favorite movies. I have loved it since I was 4. We asked my dad to fix the player and we finally got to watch. Such a great movie. I loved every second. M and I really enjoyed ourselves.
Happy Tuesday!

Monday, April 1, 2013

Marching On (A March Reveiw)

Here is what happened in March...

I wrote my third English paper

Had another week of fun

Practiced for Easter choir

Freaked out over Lars's malfunction and rejoiced when he began to work again

Rejoiced over the first day of spring 

Had a positive attitude

Left for spring break

Celebrated E's 14th birthday

Had an amazing Easter

March was a good month! I'm thankful that the weather is finally starting to change. I am more ready than ever to get into this season of Spring. Here's to April, my birthday month!