Tuesday, February 5, 2013

I Love (to hate) Chasses!!

I had a splitting headache as I waited for dance class to begin. Red decided to blast her music which did not help at all.

Today, her hair was mega-spiked, it really was probably a good 6 inches up in the air. This was the third time she wore her bandana with the dollar bills on it, I take it it's her favorite. The green money clashes terribly with her fuzzy red head. Adorable. We began with our weird plie stretches that I really hate love so much. It may look graceful when Red does it but all I see in the mirror is a short blond girl who looks like she needs to use the bathroom. After stretching we worked on a combination in which we roll on the ground, homegirl behind me kept on coming in too close and her feet brushed my face. Twice.

I was strongly considering leaving early when Red said that we were going to work on our "falls". I worked on my "falls" last semester in Jazz when I tripped over my yoga pants and the outcome was less than desirable. However, under Red's guidance I learned the true trick to falling: shift your weight in the other direction. This allows control and poise. I was good at falling. Are you surprised?

After that, we did some feet work. For some reason Red really likes to add little parts into our combinations where we strut around the room purposefully. The only problem is that we so obviously don't have any purpose, so we end up running into each other like wind up toys. Today we were suppose to strut around, find a partner and allow them to hold our arm while we give them it's full weight. Red wants us to get the hang of holding our arms up and letting them drop like dead fish. Red demonstrates with one of the only boys in the class. She asks if her arm is heavy and he is hesitant to say yes. But Red butts in "It better be heavy! I work hard for that arm!". Harder than you work on your anti-gravitational hairdo? I highly doubt it.

We moved on to shannay turns which I remember quite acutely from jazz. They are not hard to execute but they make me very dizzy. Red says that if we feel the room spinning we can put our hand (thumb first) to our forehead and jump up and down. "It may look like something from Star Teck," Red says, demonstrating, "but it really does work". Alright, I've never seen Star Treck but I have seen a wayward kangaroo in a Mary Kate and Ashley movie. Perhaps Red got her technique from our friends at *DuelStar Entertainment.

Finally, we work on our chasses (shah-say), a chasse is basically a gallop in the air and I terrible at them. I'm not the only one though and Red can clearly tell. She tells us all to repeat, "I love chasses!" I do so, with clenched teeth. Red says, "I don't want you guys to get frustrated with these", except instead of "frustrated" she says "fusstrated". It is clear that Red has spent more hours in the studio than in the classroom and I'm OK with it. It's good to know that I can spin academic circles around her, you know even though I can't spin actual circles.

By the time class is over my patience has worn as thin as the string that threads Red's miniscule eyebrows. I was checked out. We all applaud the almighty Red and go on our merry way. Just another day in Modern 1.


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