Tuesday, January 22, 2013

If I'm Being Honest

I'm really having a hard time here. I know that it takes awhile to get back into the routine but it feels like I will not be content here again. I know that I'll probably be fine in a few days or even weeks but right now I am letting my worries and anxiety get the best of me. First of all, I have an phobia of getting the stomach flu and throwing up. I have an even bigger phobia of this happening when I am not at home and not with my parents. I really obsess about it and if I allow myself I could dwell on it for a very long time. So basically, I am terrified that I'll get sick while I'm here.

It's funny, because I really wasn't worried so much about this back in August when I first got here. I was fine the entire semester until the week before I left and then I started to worry. I really hate that this consumes me so much and I know I just need to pray about it but it's just hard.

I was finally able to open my mailbox and retrieve the card that my mom sent me. Of course I teared up when I read it. I love my mom so much and I really miss her while I'm here. It's so hard because she is not only a great mother, she is also my best friend.

Well, I'm hoping that the nausea I feel is either A) due to me being so nervous or B) due to the milk I consumed. Dance Moms is on tonight so I'll have that to watch and then I'll probably just go to bed.

-G-

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