Monday, September 10, 2012

Sirens In the Night

I'm peacefully sleeping  this morning at 4:45 am. And then....

WEEE-OOOOH WEEE-OOOOH WEEE-OOOOH

I fly out of my bed, disoriented to the point of complete confusion. Along with the piercing sirens there are also flashing lights that look like strobe lights. I grab my water bottle, cell phone and little pill box. You know, all that's important in life. I thought that I had pulled a recyclable bag off of my hook but it wasn't until I was out in the hallway that I realizes I had grabbed something entirely different. You see, last week I was at the book store and this guy was handing out this free Axe shampoo in a little mesh bag that says AXE on it.

Well, that was the bag I grabbed.

Anyway, I get out in the hallway and realize...I don't have my keys. I have my AXE bag, but I don't have my blasted keys! So if the building doesn't burn down I will have no way to get back into my room. I got locked out last week too so I was sure that my second offense would get me kicked out or killed. The girl that has a room next to mine was also really confused and although I hadn't said two words to her up until this point I told her of my of my lost key woes. She asked if I my door was locked.

Obviously. Why else would I care that I didn't have my keys....

It was as I was walking to the staircase that I realized everything was blurry and for a minute I couldn't figure out why. Then I realized that I didn't have my contacts in! I'm legally blind! Yahoo! Yet somehow that AXE label still seemed to be perfectly clear.

Then the entire population of my residence hall shuffled down the stairs and outside where we were herded away from the building.  I had remembered to take my stretchy blue jacket so I wasn't too cold but it was still chilly. A few guys had came down in such a hurry that they forgot to put on shirts. Oh, how awful.

On the bright side I had water, Ibuprofen, my phone and some shampoo. All stuffed in my mesh AXE bag. So if I got thirsty or a headache or needed to make a call I was set. And if it started to rain I could have washed my hair.

After barely three minutes we were allowed back inside. I ran into my RA at the door. Our conversation went something like this:

RA (jolly sarcasm): Good morning!
Me (monotone and possibly demonic): I forgot my keys.

It turns out that a lot of other kids were locked out too. Lucky for me I found my RA so she took myself a a few other kids up and we waited for another RA with all the keys. When I got into my room I replaced my AXE bag on the hooks and I flopped onto my bed feeling completely and utterly exhausted. I was awake though and didn't fall asleep for an hour. Then I woke up an hour and a half later for class.

Oh, my life.

-G-

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