Yesterday while I was taking a shower I started to think about going to college. Without warning I felt as if I couldn't even breathe. I was making these sounds from my throat and sort of crying at the same time. I've never felt like that before, I realized that there is no way any of this is going to work out unless I really and truly give all my worries to God. I can't go on ignoring them and then having them sneak up on me while I am innocently washing my hair. I am so scared, terrified of this transition but I know that it has to be done.
I will never regret not trying it. I will never regret the experience.
Please Lord keep me safe, stay with me and protect me. Because if You are for us, than who could ever stand against us?? No one, that's who! I have to keep reminding myself of that, I have heard that when one is in their most vulnerable and lonely state they find themselves as close to God as they have ever been. I want that closeness, I anticipate it because truly, I have lived a charmed life up until this point. Sure, I've had a few hard times. Major surgery, the death of a family friend. But honestly, I have been incredibly blessed and I don't deserve it. I am nothing without God, without my faith and without this awesome family that I have been given.
Bottom line: I will be leaving in 14 days and there is no escaping it but I no longer feel that tightness in my chest. I feel calm because I am covered, always by God.
The LORD will keep you from all harm--he will watch over your life;