I've been experiencing lots of it. Lots.
Yesterday my mom and sisters came down for a family picnic. It was fun but the whole time I was just dreading them leaving. And then I cried when they did of course. The silver lining? I've decided to come home this weekend after all because it's Labor day and no one is going to be around. So I am looking forward to Friday more than I look forward to watching Dance Moms tomorrow night, which you know, is saying a lot.
I still haven't met any new friends. However, my old friend K from high school is my saving grace. I've had movie night at her dorm and we've walked around together, eaten together and so on. If she wasn't here I'd probably have drowned in my own tears. It's so odd to live here on my own, with literally nothing to do. Today I started classes, which takes up a bit of space. I liked my English class a lot but I'm not looking forward to my Anatomy class or my 6:40 am. lab AT ALL. Oh. 6:40 am.
Furthermore, I've tried really hard to lean on God during this hard time. For some reason I feel oddly distant from Him, like His presence is at home but not here in at college, which is so not true at all. God is always with me, always. And I can't forget that. Gahh, I just feel like I'll never make friends! I don't really even know how. I've went to the same school district my whole life. I never really was the new kid or had an opportunity to make new friends. I talked to C last night and it felt so good to hear her voice. She said that I was going to meet all my friends today in my classes but my English class was all guys, so no luck there.
Here's to hoping that A & P and Stats hold better luck.